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Self-Loathing is Lame

We live life in our own heads, with our thoughts. And if you’re constantly bombarded by negative, self-defeating thoughts, frankly, it sucks. One client put it so eloquently: “I never knew how much I hated myself until I started working with you”. 


Self-love, acceptance, appreciation, respect, whatever you want to call it, is not resignation. It doesn’t mean you don’t want to change. But if one of your goals is better health, permanent weight loss, a happier life and feeling GOOD in your body, it’s time to prioritize it.


Here are 4 keys to self-acceptance.

  1. Self-acceptance starts with changing the negative self-talk happening in our brains.

Chances are, the unkind, self-defeating thoughts have been on repeat in your brain for some time, and they’re not going to go away overnight. But you can choose to release those thoughts when they come up.

We can then start to spend less time listening to those old thoughts and more time speaking to ourselves in the present.

What new thoughts can you think that support better self-acceptance? Maybe it’s things like:

“I’m enough.”

“I am becoming someone who takes amazing care of themselves.”

“I deserve to feel good.”

“In this moment, I am committed to taking good care of myself.”

  1. Self-acceptance is a habit.

This is something you need to practice daily. You wouldn’t go to the gym once and do a few squats and push-ups and say “YES! Now I’m fit. I never need to workout again”.  You know that you need to go regularly to make it a habit and to get (and maintain) your results.

It’s the same with self-acceptance. It’s going to require the daily work of choosing your thoughts and showing yourself a love that isn’t conditional on what size or shape you are. And that leads me to my third point.

  1. Self-acceptance is an action.

You don’t have to ‘feel’ like accepting or appreciating yourself in order to do it. In fact, it’s highly possible that in the beginning of this journey, you won’t feel like it because you’ve spent so much of your life beating yourself down. 

But regardless of how you’re feeling, you can show your self-acceptance in your actions. You can act ‘as if’. 

If you loved and appreciated yourself today, what actions would you take? How would you move your body? How would you spend your time? What foods would you fuel yourself with? Then, commit to taking those actions.

  1. Self-acceptance takes courage.

Staying stuck in the self-loathing or the self-condemning takes no effort. Allowing yourself to fall victim to your inner mean girl is the path of least resistance because chances are, that’s what has already been happening for a long time.

And you get a reward for these behaviours. It’s comfortable. It keeps you safe.

This is your chance to stop letting those unkind thoughts in your head win and keep you playing small. 

This is your opportunity to step up and practice courage. Decide that you’re no longer going to put up with the self-loathing. You can choose to rise up and make a different choice. You can choose self-acceptance right now.

This is going to positively impact not just you, but everyone around you. You’ll show up differently for everyone you love. You’ll show up better for your family, your career, your community. This is going to change everything

It won’t always be easy, but it’s absolutely going to be worth it.

You’re worth it,
-Tanja x