Imagine telling a child “I’ll love you once you lose weight”.
You would never do that and yet so many women tell themselves some version of that every single day.
“I’ll be happy with myself once I’ve lost 20 pounds”?
“I’ll be more confident once I lose the weight”?
“I can’t believe you ate that brownie. You are so weak”.
You’re putting a condition on your self love. You think you should wait to have it all figured out before you’re worthy of your own kindness and acceptance.
And that mindset clashes with your goal to get the body and life you want. It creates fear and anxiety. While your actions might be the same – going to the gym, prepping healthy food, getting enough sleep, drinking your water, etc. – the feelings and emotions are going to be completely different.
Instead of wanting to take care of yourself, you’re doing the things so that you are worthy of your own acceptance. So that you are enough.
It’s conditional love.
Imagine if your boss always pushed you, was hard on you, told you that you could be doing better, and never noticed that you were the first person in the office everyday? It would detract from your ability to perform because you’d always be stressed.
You would do the bare minimum to get by, and you’d quit the first chance you got.
Plus, operating in fear elicits the stress response, which signals the body to hang onto body fat.
You have a choice.
What if you decided to accept and respect yourself RIGHT NOW?
You can. It’s a choice.
What if you chose to think “I’m OK”. Say it. Seriously. “I’m OK”
Notice your body relaxing a little?
You’re giving yourself permission to feel good now instead of waiting until you reach some goal (which if you’re reading this, you’ll probably still not give yourself permission to feel good when you reach your goal, because you could always do better).
This shift is going to allow you to reach your goals faster because you don’t have that negative self-talk slowing you down.
And it’s going to be much easier to pick yourself back up when you slip up.
Friend, it takes courage to choose unconditional self love.
And you are stronger and braver than you think.